UNMET NEEDS

In the last topic and exercise, you identified your top five needs and looked at where these are currently being met. Let’s focus now on which, if any, of these are not being met.

We know from the research that having unmet needs can impact our health and prevent us from feeling fulfilled. Where we have unmet needs, it is important to find ways to have them met for our own wellbeing.

Use the worksheet to help you find ways to meet your unmet needs.

It is a common misconception that our partner should be able to meet all of our needs, but it is good to recognise that no individual can or should do this. In any relationship, we all have to decide what we can or cannot do for our partner without sacrificing our own well-being. And so, there will be some needs that are not able to be met by your partner; this is perfectly normal.

If you rely solely on your partner to meet your needs, you create a very dependent relationship, so look outside your relationship to see how else you can have needs met through friends, family, work, hobbies, and so on. There are often multiple different ways to meet the same need.

During times when our needs are not being met, the ability to recognise this can help us better deal with it emotionally and make a plan to improve the situation. There may also be periods when your needs cannot be met. Awareness of this can help your understanding and acceptance of the current situation. Allowing you to be mindful of how this is affecting you and giving you the opportunity to be kind to yourself.