LOVE LANGUAGE

Dr. Gary Chapman created the theory of love languages based on his experiences as a counsellor. He discovered that individuals do not all respond to love in the same ways and that each person has a primary love language that most deeply connects with them. He discovered five recurring patterns which he named “The Five Love Languages.”

Your language of love applies to non-romantic relationships as well as romantic ones, as well as to the way you express love for yourself. It’s common to have more than one love language, although we all have a dominant one, and they may evolve over time.

The five languages of love are:

Words of Affirmation: love expressed through spoken words, praise, or appreciation.

Quality Time: love expressed through undivided attention from their partner. 

Physical Touch: love expressed through physical affection.

Acts of Service: love expressed through being helped out through helpful deeds.

Gifts: love expressed through the giving and receiving of gifts.

Use the worksheet to help you identify your love language.

When you get an understanding of what your language of love is and the same for your partner, you can then start to think about how you show your love in a way that they receive it and how you can ask them to show you their love in a way that you can receive it. So, let’s think about how best to communicate according to love language.

Love languages are a really simple tool to help you to understand what you or your partner need to feel loved, and obviously this is really important in any relationship.  Sometimes we find that although we think we are showing love to our partner, we might not be expressing it in a way that it is fully received. And vice versa, our partner may not realise what they are doing that is making us feel unloved.

Understanding love languages can enhance communication in your relationship by helping you to request and express love in the most appropriate way.