HOW TO HEAL

Whether you decide to stay in your relationship or not, being able to heal from your past hurts is essential to moving forward.

Once you are aware of your pain and have identified the source, you can tailor your healing approach to best meet your needs. This might involve seeking therapy, engaging in self-reflection, or adopting coping mechanisms that address the specific challenges you have revealed. The process will differ depending on whether you decide to stay in your relationship or not, but the general steps remain the same: accepting the way that you feel, grieving any loss, and forgiving before moving on.

Accepting the way you feel involves acknowledging and validating your emotions without judgement and developing a compassionate inner dialogue that encourages you to speak to yourself kindly. It’s about coming to terms with feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, and confusion that may have arisen from past experiences or conflicts.

Grieving, an essential process, entails allowing yourself the necessary time and space to mourn your loss or hurt. The loss that you are grieving may be a loss of trust, a loss of a relationship, a loss of a period in your life, or a loss of a vision of a life that you previously imagined.

Forgiveness, both of yourself and others, is a vital component of healing, especially in relationships. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean condoning hurtful actions; rather, it’s a conscious decision to release the burden of resentment and anger for your own wellbeing.

“In fact, not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.”

Anne Lamott

Forgiveness becomes a transformative act, releasing the emotional burdens that may impede your personal growth. The process of forgiveness can also help you embrace the imperfections of yourself and others. No relationship is perfect, and accepting this fact can lead to more realistic expectations and less disappointment.

In order to move on within your relationship, communication in a way that you are both comfortable with plays a crucial role. Having a means to express feelings, needs, and desires in a healthy way will foster understanding and empathy between you, and combined with a willingness to work together to overcome challenges, this will help the healing process.

Healing doesn’t always mean reconciliation or even getting your relationship back to the way it was before. It can involve finding closure or resolution by deciding to move on separately or by setting boundaries that put your relationship on a slightly different footing.

As said previously, remember that healing is not a quick fix. It is a process that takes time and patience, and it’s equally important to recognise that healing is not a linear journey but a series of gradual shifts. Allow yourself, and anyone else, the space and time to heal and grow.