BOUNDARIES
Lesson Objectives
- Understand what boundaries are
- Recognise where boundaries need creating or strengthening
- Understand how to establish healthy boundaries
In the previous lesson, you learned about values and identified which values were most important to you. You also identified times and situations where you didn’t or weren’t able to live your values, and this leads us on to boundaries. Boundaries and values are interconnected.
When we talk about setting boundaries, it can be misleading, as it can make us think that we are giving an ultimatum. What we mean by boundaries is having the space and freedom to live our values.
Imagine, if you will, a brick wall.
Over time, we put building blocks in place – these are our personal boundaries. When we enter into a relationship, we often take the odd brick out to compromise; this is entirely normal and necessary.
However, sometimes we end up taking more and more of these bricks out until we no longer have any walls, just a pile of rubble.
As well as the boundaries that allow us to live our values, there are lots of other different types of boundaries to consider:
Emotional being clear on what emotion is yours and what isn’t
Intellectual respecting differing views
Physical space and physical touch
Financial how money is handled in a relationship
Sexual physical intimacy and consent
Material acceptable use of material possessions
Time punctuality and availability of time
Conversational acceptable topics of conversation
Comment acceptable comment types/topics
Social Media acceptable sharing on social media
